26

I woke up and stared at the clock. It was

  • I woke up and stared at the clock. It was a lot later than usual. What had I been doing the night before? It felt like a small rodent had climbed into my mouth and died overnight.
  • I opened my mouth and pulled out a deceased chinchilla. I rushed to the bathroom desperate to get the fur off my uvula. Looking at the mirror, I noticed fine whiskers sprouting
  • from my cheeks. And were my two front teeth elongating? By the power of Crom, I was becoming a chinchilla! This was my punishment for years of chinchilla-eating. I regretted
  • NOTHING. Those chinchillas, roasted, fried and sauteed were delicious! I prayed to Crom to halt my chinchilla transformation but she was engaged elsewhere.
  • Crom was in fact stitching together a silky patched rendition of a robe for my ultimate ascension to Chinchilladom. Language soon fled my facilities and I grew hair in places they
  • had told me would only grow in emergency situations. Chinchilladom was close, it had to be. No words, too much hair, the signs were all pointing to it. Or a brain aneurism. Perhaps
  • I should check out symptoms instead? No, I was thinking too far ahead. My head was too far into dreams of a land filled with marsupials, so to speak. Is that too literal? Am I
  • just paranoid of coming down with aurora australitis, which transforms a victim's flesh into dazzling, psychedelic lights adorning The Land Down Under. I looked in horror as
  • The infernal disco ball dazzled it's way towards me. So it came down to this, me vs the aurora australitis. Well, it wasn't making ME no aurora Borisralititis! I dived towards it
  • and with a crash, landed in a mirror maze. Natasha tugged at my sleeve. "Boris dahlink," she said, "I told you not to take ze brown acid. Ve've gotta get outta here." So we split.
Started
2015-06-28 13:17:43
Finished
2019-07-14 15:11:17

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