I come from a distant corner of the universe,

I come from a distant corner of the universe, having traveled many cycles of time in order to find you. And now that we are finally face to face, I would like to share with you a
coconut and Dijon mustard sandwich. The expanding universe had sent me far away but I promise the sandwich is still fresh. I made the bread myself from
the halfling's leaf and the mustar..." "This bread is made from Shire leaf?" the wizard interrupted. "Well yes." I answered. "Would you like some?" But he was gone. Vanished.
And there I stood, still hungry and now empty-handed, meandering through Middle-earth. Damn that wiley wizard! Where could I get more Shire leaf to make more bread? Lothlorien
was beyond the mountains that stood before me, a 4 or 5 days walk. But then at the edge of a forest I noticed a strange creature that suffered from serios schizophrenia, "Gollum
gollum. But if we rings it's throat, it can't tell us where my precious is. Smeagol wants it. It belongs to Smeagol. Must be tricksy. Yes. Clever." I had a degree in Psychoanalysis
, but I didn't need it to tell that this guy was "bat-shit insane" (pardon the psychoanalytical jargon) about this damn ring. "Listen here, you moon-bat," I started, "you can take
this ring of yours to Guyana and stay there. If I see you ever again, I will personally kick your bum bum, one cheek at a time. Hashtag booty werk with a W-E-R-K!" He looked scared
because he didn't understand any of that twitter hashtag stuff, so he stalled for time. He tried to look concerned and shrieking, "What? What did you say? I don't think I heard
you correctly! Look at that water buffalo!" He took advantage of the following confusion to eat their iphone. They'd never look at twitter ever again. Genius!

Started: 2012-12-28 19:18:52
Finished: 2013-06-28 11:40:27

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