22

Citizens of Rock Ridge! I stand before you

  • Citizens of Rock Ridge! I stand before you today, humbled that you have chosen me as your representative, and secure in the knowledge that our future together is a bright one! Let
  • me start off my tenure in public office by confessing right away that I will be helping my business associates make money at your expense,lying about my investments & having affair
  • s with Judas, Brutus, and Cassius. As my trench coat slid off, a reporter asked, "Are those wings?" "You filthy slime, I will drag you to Hell!" I replied. My inauguration as town
  • house gigolo had been complete at the Housing Association's potluck when I bedded down Ms. Davies, Ursula and Ms. Spilaswack all at the same time. This reporter was not going
  • to endure the horrors of "A Wrinkle in Time 2" without some reward, no matter how debased it was. And to top it all off, I ended up with New Age Crabs. Itched like a bitch, and
  • lost me street cred with the hardcore physics crowd. They said go hang with the biologists. I was sullen. "Hey, they're better than the anthropologists," a bald young geek tried
  • to reassure him. He let gravity take him to his knees. "Please," he pleaded. "I'll let you throw some weird physics at me. I promise not to Yau."
  • This was all part of a theory of scientific explanation he had written as an assignment in college. It made sense, somehow. We went to Starbucks for coffee. I ordered cappuccino.
  • We sat down across from each other and he started to blather on about his theory. Much, Much later, as he droned on, I slowly reached across the table and poured my cappuccino into
  • his shirt front with one hand, while holding his collar forward with the other. The scalding coffee ended his monologue, but heralded a further outburst as he decried his injury. I

0 Comments

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!