James took a bite of his freshly-unwrapped
- James took a bite of his freshly-unwrapped fast food cheeseburger and began to chew it, but nearly choked when a woman's face suddenly smooshed against the window in front of him.
- She was his 7th grade math teacher. She had just trampled over a dead cow. Boy did she look hotter than ever. James pointed to his burger, as to tell her "hey, want a bite?"
- And she pointed at her crotch as to say, "Eat me douche bag."
- But his semiotic dictionary was wired differently. He was a "Fruity" disciple & expected the 2nd coming of the Divine Priestess of Fertility. He interpreted her obscene gesture
- to mean that she was bored and wanted him to do something in bed. He politely refused. "You really are a "Fruity" disciple, aren't you?" she
- wouldn't take no for an answer. Listen, it's called the reverse moose goose and all my girlfriends say it's just the best! Here's all you need to do: just shimmy out of that robe &
- brush your tail between my legs." "What!?" The alarm on my face was apparent, even when it wasn't alerting to a fire. "I don't have to accept this! This is sexual harrassment!"
- "No, This Is CNN!" James Earl Jones was tired of all the buffoonery in his office and decided to set out on his own...in a galaxy far, far away. He figured he could make a killing
- selling his own audio-newspapers to aliens. But James Earl Jones didn't have enough money to build a spaceship. (Plus faster than light travel hadn't yet been discovered.)
- "Well damn," Mr. Jones said, reaching into his left, pants pocket. "This card has the last few universal credits I have left." Vader was a faded star."It's time to head back home."
- Started
- 2011-04-29 17:20:35
- Finished
- 2012-07-28 03:17:53
1 Comments
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Zetawilk Jul 28 2012 @ 04:02
You know, Peter Serafinowicz faced similar problems. "Dammit, son, I told you to go out and FIND adventure, I didn't say bring it home with you." I wonder whatever happened to the guy who had a fire alarm for a face.