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So this is where father kept his so called

  • So this is where father kept his so called pornos. Under the bed. How clever. She wondered if mom knew. She wondered is mom watched them with him. Was that how she was conceived?
  • But the disturbing thought of her parents getting off on pantsless smurf cosplay pushed her mind into an oblivion from which she could not wake. Smurfs wore white pants! Blasphemy
  • is what it was. Cosplay should be based in reality! 3 apples high and white pants, dammit! If her parents couldn't see the damage they were doing she was just going to have to
  • smother them on her way to the bottom. Who knew ? So she saddled up, grabbed a beer, and headed out. First stop, Pennsylvania Avenue.
  • Pennsylvania Avenue, location of the amazing Pencil Station. She and her horse could find transport to a new place, a new town, a new adventure. Her beer was flat, she needed
  • something else to fill up her alcohol-meter. Never in her life did she go on an adventure even closely to sober. Her father taught her to achieve mastery in drinking, but when
  • he died at the ripe old age of 22 from driving off of a cliff in a dramatic explosion, she was forced to become a master of drunken battle on her own. But how would she do this?
  • "That was easy," she said, driving away from her weekend trip to Glasgow. She scratched idly at the new stiches across her forehead and wondered what her sensei would think.
  • He would think: 'I am nothing but the most brilliantly modest mutha-fucka on the planet.' Or at least that's what your cunt told me, while I was pulling it inside out.
  • But then, I woke up.

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