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Some people are born as diamonds in the rough.

  • Some people are born as diamonds in the rough. Others aren't born at all. And some, the lucky few, are born different. And when I say different, I mean blue hair and mind reading.
  • I am one of those people. Whenever I meet someone new, I say to them "You're wondering why I have blue hair, aren't you?" and they say "Why yes, it's like you're reading my mind."
  • From then on, it's easy to scam them into thinking I have psychic powers. I make a solid buck performing on the streets, where stupid tourists can't wait to give their money away.
  • I like to think of my clientele as premium. I'm not yet skilled enough to scam just anyone. The slightly dumb ones, those are my people. I use my alleged psychic powers
  • to help fabulously wealthy people find their long lost relatives:"Wait, how long since you last saw your daughter?" The matron sniffed:"16 years." "MOMMA! Don't you recognize me?!"
  • Sadly, the matron was a patron saint of murder. Not being born yesterday ('though p'haps the day before) she knew she could save on her food bills by eating the spoilt brat.
  • "How much for the spoilt brat and half an onion?" The beleaguered woman now knew that her brat had a price. "Onions are hard to come by this time of year. They will cost you dearly
  • ." Marta overhead this in passing, but The River was still on the matter. "Ma'am, may I help? This onion is a gift to you. And if the other wants a spoilt brat and half an onion,
  • she new the onion would be invaluable, as it was not a native crop, and she could just give up her own spoiled children. "Oh yeah,"Marta stated "It's all coming together" So Marta
  • went in the field to pick onions. She yanked hard at one & out it came from the soil. On the bulb was the face of one of her spoiled children! “F-U, mom!” it said. Marta fainted.
Started
2019-09-18 20:25:52
Finished
2019-12-12 15:02:56

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Woab Dec 13 2019 @ 16:22

    That kid stinks!

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