The third Emperor decided to eat an apple

The third Emperor decided to eat an apple pie. But inside the pie was a layered octopus. He took a bite out of it, and the octopus came out and ate the Emperor. Then the octopus
stood over the Emperor's dead body and started to
masturbate.
That was an idea that I could really get a grip on. Between long pulls, I nursed my lager. I liked a little ambiance and scented oils and a black and tan smacked of a good time.
And then the lager turned to blood. And I wasn't in a pub but in a cave. And there were others around me drinking blood too. They had fangs and pointed ears and I looked at my hand
and saw a pentagram scratched in blood. OMG! I realised I had somehow ended up in a parallel universe where bad spelling is punishable by death-by-drainage, and I was on the list
of designated drainers. Crap I was squeamish about blood, had been all my life. Now I would have to drain the blood of bad spellers, try not to up-chuck and hope my spealing pased.
Unfortunately, the spelling virus had spread. It was infecting my brian. I tired two get sum help but it waz too latte. I was domed.
Qickly, i oppened up MS Werd. The sergeuns wit teh help of teh new neral connnectors attached the spell checker directly into my head. It wasn't a perfect solution, butt I was
glad eye died bee cuz my penis member my hulk hens hands whirr growling growning growing raped rapist fast and eye cudgeled couldn't tape whiff with them.

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