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The doctor was extremely hungover from an

  • The doctor was extremely hungover from an all-nighter with Vince. They'd drank Goldschlagger and played NBA Live on the PS3 until the
  • sun peeked up outside the apartment window. Now, Dr. Smith faced a six hour heart transplant surgery with no sleep and trembling alcoholic hands.
  • Smith knew the best thing for everybody would be if he'd crawl into bed and just sleep this off. Instead, in 20 minutes, he found himself scrubbing up in the O.R. and
  • operating Steve Ballmer for a cranial transplant. Apparently he was so convinced of the prototype for Windoz 2050 that he wanted to be the first to have the cybernetic enhancement
  • implanted directly into his brain. However, it required a brainectomy first, so he signed the waiver and eagerly laid down atop the operating table. The nurse smiled and cut into
  • frontal lobe, It was done quickly, just like Lasik surgery. It was one of the earlier models of intelligence expansion so it included a 3.5" floppy disk drive to upload MS-DOS.
  • Then they'd insert 25 electrodes into your forehead which were then connected to a Commodore 64. The technician'd enter the command 'echo shrink memory at random then ex >a.txt'
  • but his younger brother'd hit the key for typing colored ascii. The tech'd have to clear the screen then enter the C64 command "load lode runner" & create new levels in your brain.
  • But he didn't feel like it. "Well good luck," the tech said, walking out of the house. "You no-good son of a bitch," the father muttered, glaring back down to the computer screen,
  • Senator Turing knew that he had failed his constituency, but it would send the wrong signal to the young robos if he were to stick a screwdriver into his sparking cranium.
Started
2011-02-26 22:01:44
Finished
2012-11-12 00:52:11

3 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Nov 12 2012 @ 15:36

    It is not obvious to me how Chaz deduced that the patient would desire old style microsoft implants. Perhaps he got his floppy frontal transplant from me? Is it weird to feel nostalgic about these sorts of stories?
  2. Avatar

    Chaz Nov 12 2012 @ 18:37

    Great minds think alike.
  3. Avatar

    BlastedHeath Nov 15 2012 @ 20:01

    This can't be good ... http://foldingstory.com/ucsdc/

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