Through the circular lens I could clearly
- Through the circular lens I could clearly see the antennae of an eager insect. Or was it a human eye staring down at my miniscule body? Surprised, realizing I could see both views,
- I ran back to the tribe. "I found my spirit animal," I said. "Henceforth, you shall know me as -- Transcending Slug." The warriors cackled. My father'd wanted a 'Sitting Bull Jr.'
- or even "Lance." But they were fools. When starvation drove me mad with hallucinations, I totally bonded with the slug. Slow. Wet. Vulnerable. It HAD no skin. That was true strengt
- h. I became the Slugman. With my slimy mucus coat, & jellylike body I slid through tiny cracks & escaped. I tracked my tormentors with my antennae, & slowly squeezed them to death
- and absorbed them into my sluggy body. Its not having arms I miss so much as actually being a slug. Half of my favorite foods (anything with salt on it basically) are right out.
- Being a human is such hard work, and everything moves way to fast. So many responsibilities! So many people forcing you to do things against your will! So much salt in my sweat!
- Decisions like ordering pan or original crust? What's the difference between 1 and 2% milk? Why are people honking at me when the light is green? The human condition bites.
- I'm always tackling the big questions, and I have answers. In this case, those answers are: original crust, one has more fat content, and because people are stupid.
- Unfortunately, I don't have questions to match the answers. Makes me feel a bit stupid, to be perfectly honest.
- Just kidding. I'm imperfectly honest at best. A few minutes of Googling and a little bubble-mapping, and I'm sure I'll arrive at just the right set of questions, with a bow on top.
- Started
- 2011-12-16 22:18:18
- Finished
- 2012-12-20 19:57:17
1 Comments
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SlimWhitman Dec 21 2012 @ 12:11
We haven't seen the last of Slugman's mucusy trail...