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If I were to start my life over again, I

  • If I were to start my life over again, I wouldn't have been born the way I was born. What a way to come into this world!
  • But I had no choice in the matter. The matter...which was ME, being conceived in a petri dish. A drop of this & a splash of that and voila...I became. So here I am today, grown up
  • in body, but not in mind, thank goodness. But my artificial origins don't make me less human; I actually have a more perfect genome than 99% of the population. Unfortunately, my
  • DNA needs replication every 48 hours. This requires the digesting of live human within 48 hours, and one mile within my current location. Any further and my energy is cut
  • loose, foot loose, my energy will kick off it's Sunday shoes. You see, my energy is Kevin Bacon. Having said that it necessarily follows that my energy is
  • best paired with "Eggs" Benedict Cumbersnatch and a tall glass of OJ. My energy rarely gets depleted but when it does ... well, even Bacon gets fried.
  • Mrs. Benedict Cumbersnatch is the one who where's the pants around the house, and she brings home the bacon. They don't call me "Eggs" for nothing. A dozen bouncing Cumbersnatch
  • tots tumbled into the foyer all at once. "Ah there they are now! Hello my little chiclets. We have a visitor." Mrs. Cumbersnatch offered me some breakfast tea and introduced me to
  • her newly hatched chicks, their bright yellow feathers all fluffed up. I held one in my lap as I sipped my tea and listened to Mrs Cumbersnatch's offer. "I'll willing to buy
  • you a townhome in Scranton, with some truffle oil and tortillas. I'll even throw in a pair of gently used Jimmy Choo cocktail heels. Just turn on the oven...and do the bad thing.

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