"I'm so 'the life of the party' that my own
- "I'm so 'the life of the party' that my own cats think I'm inanimate." I started this dating profile as a joke; now it was just sad. I needed someone with a compatible joke profile
- or at least someone who liked cats. I tried finding the dating site that would totally get me, you know? So I found "PuuuurfectMate.com" huh, sounds like me! That is until I click
- on the "pet me" button on the site ... only to realize it was a Furry Fan site. OMG! I never realized how sexually exciting mascots could be. Forget my cats, my new interest was
- Furry Mascots! I just want to snuggle up against them all night. I'll be the big spoon or little spoon, but ideally there are 2 so I can be both. I went to a mascot convention to
- blend in with the nut jobs, fruit loops, oddballs, kooks, freaks and weirdos. No normals allowed! I was chatting up a giant squirrel when the San Diego Chicken walked by. I grabbed
- my gondersmach and skipped on my hands towards the sign. Yes indeed, I had finally found a place I could call home. No more perfectionists! No more average joes! Just crazy me do
- re mi fa so la di'ing into a digeridoo and selling mp3s on Amazon! What a racket! 16 months later, I bought an artificial island outside of Dubai and entertained the most prominent
- pubic hair that made my pants look like a bag of microwave popcorn. You see, this commercialism has me in its grips and I kneel before the altar of the sale, and this is what makes
- me such an important demographic, the "shallow servile consumer with dredpants syndrome".I had actually only one pair of Dredpants™ but I stood in line hoping my nether dredplaits
- Had no holes, which was fashionable again. The bullock-cart driver wore some with holes, I noticed, and he was taking drunken baseball fans home. There were thousands of them.
- Started
- 2013-07-02 10:32:32
- Finished
- 2016-04-16 14:55:59
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