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Captain Carpathia was, to put it mildly,

  • Captain Carpathia was, to put it mildly, not one of the A-list superheroes. Sure, he had an origin story (something that involved a radioactive toilet plunger and a goat named
  • Stevie. He also had a pretty cool mountain stronghold and was the last scion of destitute nobles. But Captain Carpathia lacked any notable superpowers, except for
  • generating and releasing toxic farts on command. It was surprising when captain carpathia let one rip by accident causing Stevie to choke and foam at the mouth. The nobles
  • were always pretending their toots didn't stank but the servants knew whose room to avoid in the early hours after a long night of feasting and drinking. Sir Gregory's pantaloons
  • were soiled with the utmost inimaginable of substances. Him and his fellow Royal Society colleagues would spend their sundays reeling from massive hangovers. Tea and biscuits was
  • no cure for what they'd imbibed on last night. Prince Harry belched just as the Queen strolled into the drawing room. Charles snickered and turned towards Camilla who promptly
  • flatulated and quickly sat down hoping her tweed skirt would cover the smell. The Queen sniffed disdainfully, glaring at Charles. "Mum...uh..." he said, and pointed at Prince Harry
  • whose kilt wasn't flapping because of the Scottish breeze my pidgeon. All the royal family had partaken of the whisky-marinated Haggis & the curse of bagpipe bowels was upon 'em.
  • Sean Connery it turns out had the last laugh. He guffawed in only the way a whiskered old Scotts man can. He leveled his gaze at the Royal Family and sneered, "Well now you what it
  • knows can am being what for to do now, Bill Nye?" And then Patrick Stewart quipped back with his own cherry [sic] bon mot: "Have am only to not for with to thy heed." They smiled.
Started
2012-11-07 15:20:25
Finished
2013-02-20 20:39:27

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Zetawilk Feb 20 2013 @ 20:39

    How have those two not been in a movie together? Maybe the UK translation of "Grumpy Old Men" or something.

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