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A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

  • A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... STAR DOORS D-DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUMMMMMM!
  • The star doors were a malicious species, closing whenever something walked through them, but the mind snoopers were always on their toes, literally they walk on their toes.
  • This is an important detail for forensic scientists and foot fetishists, so pay attention. The Mind Snoopers feverishly worked to unlock the Star Doors that had trapped
  • Kurt Russel in medieval Egypt. They watched in horror through their chronocams as he was forced to raft-joust Pharaoh's finest along the Nile. But the chief foot fetishist kept
  • a solid gold (though modest-sized) statue of Kurt Russel in his sandal closet. It also served as an incense holder. One wretched night, the closet caught fire, and the Pharaoh
  • realiized that one of the small gods must have been jealous of his Kurt Russel statue. Pharaoh lost all of his sandals in the fire. Kurt had left a pair of Tony Lamas boots under
  • the rug in the den, then sat upon the lump with the same look of confusion as though he accidentally clicked a folding story without realizing it. Hastily, Kurt Russel lit up his
  • so-called “cigar”, and took a deep drag. He perched on the lump with indignation; he could not understand the meaning of any of this, and he hated everything for it, even the rug &
  • especially the white kitchen curtains where his father displayed the 8mm film of himself and Betsy, a ticket-taker at the skating rink, conceiving him. He had a film for each kid,
  • which perhaps explains the absence of appetite and chronic vomiting that characterized mealtime. "How do you stay so skinny?" people would ask. "Skating," he'd answer honestly.
Started
2016-01-13 14:34:53
Finished
2021-07-06 08:44:09

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Woab Jul 11 2021 @ 12:20

    I say we pitch it to Hollywood.

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