I CREATE EXTROVERTED CONFOUNDING UNFATHOMABLE

I CREATE EXTROVERTED CONFOUNDING UNFATHOMABLE BRUTISH EARNESTNESS; GIGGLE.
As soon as Queen Elizabeth learned of it, she visited and wanted to start libraries in her name at the site of the overly serious attitudes in her kingdom. She was now an avid fan
of the flat earth society, which had members all around the globe. So the Queen selected her best pen and inkpot and started to write
a letter to all the members of the society. She invited them to join the movement to "Go Green". The planet is experiencing a bit of Global Warming and she requested
that the society help out by recycling all used bottles and printing on both sides of the paper. But the society didn't listen, and life on Earth ended in the year 2047.
Or that's what it said at the end of the Mayan calendar.
Puzzled, I scratched my groin in dismay. This discrepancy I discovered in the Mayan calendar meant that my calculations for the apocalypse were way off. "Holy Schnikes!" I thought.
"The apocalypse was actually yesterday!"I checked my window to see if the sun was still shining.Yup, still shining. No zombies either.But wait--why was that bird flying backwards?!
And why could I remember the future?I pondered these questions while walking backwards to the bathroom,washing hands,then sit on the toilet,having a dump shoot up my butt.Wait a se
c... I am NOT letting go of my Chipotle's steak burrito! I struggled fiercely to stay in the present, as the food fought to be vomited. I choked to death wearing a satisfied smile.

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