A woman who sleeps til half past two then
- A woman who sleeps til half past two then wakes up tired? Whaddaya do? With a woman who sleeps like
- the dead? You kill her. You suffocate her with a sofa cushion. Then you cut her into six inch pieces and put them in the vitamix. Except for the head, you heat seal that and
- mount it to your wall. Since going on a safari in Africa you had always wanted...
- too shoot a nice warty specimen to mount in your gallery above the dining room table. After flying into Nairobi you hired a driver and drove into Ngong Hills Nature Reserve.
- That's when the loin mauled you. You have amnesia. You've been lying comatose for nine days with a loaded rifle in your extra-long cargo-pants pocket. That's why when you woke
- you couldn't recall being attacked by that slab of meat. Your leg is stiff from the loaded rifle and your 9-day coma. The doctor arrives and gives you the thumbs up. You're free to
- venture out into the world again, but nothing waits for you there. You already long to be back in that coma-induced dream, frolicking through Equestria. Not back to lonely, no bf,
- no nothing reality that only contains an empty can of Spaghetti-o's and a plastic spoon that has dried to the side, a bottle of stale Guiness that long ago lost it's fizz, and
- a deck of playing cards, all missing the spades and bent. Such was life now after the apocalypse. I put the gun in my mouth and pulled the trigger.
- The yummy fruit punch sprayed the back of my throat, from my gun shaped thermos. The sun was beginning to set, and I knew I had to find the sacred foosball tables before dark.
- Started
- 2011-02-21 16:26:34
- Finished
- 2012-08-27 18:54:50
4 Comments
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Chaz Aug 27 2012 @ 22:11
Gun shaped drink dispensers? What a great marketing concept!
Zetawilk Aug 28 2012 @ 02:11
It's been done before! And crashed and burned.
SlimWhitman Aug 28 2012 @ 17:53
It finally found an appropriate niche to flourish in. Thanks for the U-turn ending CrazyBananas. Speaking of which did anyone see that movie "U turn"?
Zetawilk Aug 28 2012 @ 19:05
No, but my bug Pokemon can learn the move "U turn".