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A woman who sleeps til half past two then

  • A woman who sleeps til half past two then wakes up tired? Whaddaya do? With a woman who sleeps like
  • the dead? You kill her. You suffocate her with a sofa cushion. Then you cut her into six inch pieces and put them in the vitamix. Except for the head, you heat seal that and
  • mount it to your wall. Since going on a safari in Africa you had always wanted...
  • too shoot a nice warty specimen to mount in your gallery above the dining room table. After flying into Nairobi you hired a driver and drove into Ngong Hills Nature Reserve.
  • That's when the loin mauled you. You have amnesia. You've been lying comatose for nine days with a loaded rifle in your extra-long cargo-pants pocket. That's why when you woke
  • you couldn't recall being attacked by that slab of meat. Your leg is stiff from the loaded rifle and your 9-day coma. The doctor arrives and gives you the thumbs up. You're free to
  • venture out into the world again, but nothing waits for you there. You already long to be back in that coma-induced dream, frolicking through Equestria. Not back to lonely, no bf,
  • no nothing reality that only contains an empty can of Spaghetti-o's and a plastic spoon that has dried to the side, a bottle of stale Guiness that long ago lost it's fizz, and
  • a deck of playing cards, all missing the spades and bent. Such was life now after the apocalypse. I put the gun in my mouth and pulled the trigger.
  • The yummy fruit punch sprayed the back of my throat, from my gun shaped thermos. The sun was beginning to set, and I knew I had to find the sacred foosball tables before dark.

4 Comments

  1. Chaz Aug 27 2012 @ 22:11

    Gun shaped drink dispensers? What a great marketing concept!

  2. Zetawilk Aug 28 2012 @ 02:11

    It's been done before! And crashed and burned.

  3. SlimWhitman Aug 28 2012 @ 17:53

    It finally found an appropriate niche to flourish in. Thanks for the U-turn ending CrazyBananas. Speaking of which did anyone see that movie "U turn"?

  4. Zetawilk Aug 28 2012 @ 19:05

    No, but my bug Pokemon can learn the move "U turn".

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