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Research has found that the percentage of

  • Research has found that the percentage of FoldingStory users with 3 figure IQs is equal to the percentage of bananas that are straight. From this we can conclude that
  • the number of gay or bisexual bananas is much larger than originally thought, and, in addition, the correlation between sexuality and FoldingStory IQ is a function of fruitiness.
  • "It matters not," muttered Dr. Kinsey. "Regardless of their orientation, bananas remain nature's ultimate phallic symbol, violating all of its eaters and
  • finance advisors. If you thought you were screwed last time you had a finance advisor because he was an ex-used car salesman then think about the bananas. They have the worst of
  • smells in the fruit basket. And do you really wanna be stuck in that fruit basket? I don't think you do, the speaker shouted. I had to get out of this class. I interrupted by
  • raising two fingers to indicate a phony need for a restroom. The speaker looked put-out and waved me off, and I almost got out the door before I was pelted with over-ripe fruit.
  • I paused before turning around trying to work out if this was going to put me back in prison? When I looked back I saw her running out the other door. She had dropped the spoiled
  • container of macaroni salad on Salazar’s infected bedsores; Salazar, roused from a fevered sleep, hurled expletives at her, snatched a shotgun from under the mattress and shot.
  • & missed, as usual. "Poor thing," she murmured, sprinkling him with hot sauce for that extra zing. After Salazar finally fell into silent delirium, she let the dogs in to lick his
  • stamps. The invitations were sent out & dog connoisseurs from the neighborhood arrived & fastened napkins to their necks. They all attributed Salazar's deliciousness to the sauce.

3 Comments

  1. Woab Feb 11 2020 @ 11:52

    This is hilarious.

  2. StoryFascist Feb 29 2020 @ 08:46

    I'm stunned by Perronicus' statement. We're well into the four digit IQ zone. It's good to be alive.

  3. 49erFaithful Mar 03 2020 @ 09:25

    Brilliant! Three and a half cheers!

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