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On January 23, 2015 there will be a 7.4 earthquake

  • On January 23, 2015 there will be a 7.4 earthquake centered just east of Fresno, CA. It will be a tragedy for a few; a moderate disturbance for some. It will also bring together
  • a small cadre of people who, awakened by the quake, will carry out a plan set in motion countless centuries ago. The first step will be to
  • Perform "A Winter's Tale" on the Solstice and ring the bells. Shakespeare will be there and Ian Anderson will play the flute. Invoking the Goddess is important. Only she can
  • discern the player's famous one-legged "flute" stance, which makes him look like a deranged flamingo. Overblowing is extremely important, but nobody can shade holes like
  • this Ian fellow. When he makes the flute cry by comparing his loneliness to sex with an oboe. "I had a lovely time", says the oboe to the triangle with the wood block looking on.
  • When hormonal teenagers aren't at band camp, this is what happens at band camp. Alas, the time for band camp had rolled around again, and Ian was the first to jump right in
  • and toot his own horn, so to speak. Little did Ian know that Lorna had crept over from the reed section cabins and was fingering her clarinet frantically, hoping to catch his eye.
  • Lorna waited and waited, but Ian just wouldn't look. Finally, fed up with his inaction, she swung the clarinet high and brought it crashing down on Ian's skull. There. That knocked
  • him up. Ian was now pregnant with a piccolo. His ultrasounds were very loud, and the baby was healthy if off-key. Lorna helped with the C-sharp-section during delivery, and
  • the piccolo came out playing its solo from “The Stars & Stripes Forever,” causing the entire delivery room staff to stand and salute. The piccolo grew up and became a lovely flute.
Started
2013-11-20 16:23:45
Finished
2020-06-01 10:48:48

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    LordVacuity Jun 01 2020 @ 15:31

    This story blows. It is also a breath of inspiration.

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