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Sometimes when my wife sighs heavily, it

  • Sometimes when my wife sighs heavily, it makes me really really really mad.
  • Back in the days when we wrote love letters I thought it was cute that she'd actually right *sigh" to express herself. But now after 7 years of marriage, her sighs busted my spleen
  • display case. They were so high pitched due to the whistling from my wife's deviated septum. I was able to save most of my spleen collection, but it was a race against time to find
  • where I had left my secret key before I had to leap out of the window to avoid the choking flames. I looked over to my wife and yelled
  • "I'M GOING BACK IN!" "NO!" she screamed. "YOU'LL BE KILLED!" I smashed in the front door, determined to retrieve the secret key. Flames licked my skin as ash and smoke rained down
  • from the toasters nailed to the ceiling. Flaming toast crumbs threatened to set my goatee on fire. In haste I made my way to the bedroom, where I knew the waffle iron would
  • create an escape barrier between me and the falling, flaming crumbs. I had to get out of there fast but where to? All of the windows were sealed shut with icing, what was I to do?
  • You should have eaten the icing, and fast!
  • it was the only way to counteract the poision! but since she didnt eat the icing
  • she had a heart attack and died. Icing heaven.

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