If I knew that I was going to die that day,

If I knew that I was going to die that day, I wouldn't have gone to school. Then again, I may have gone for the sheer excitement of doing so, if not to spite THEM.
Just to spite THEM, if I knew I was going to die that day, I would have gone to school and had sex with Mary Lou Finklestein, in the cafeteria, while eating a
cheeseburger.
Would you like fries with that, ma'am?"
"No," she replied. "God told me not to eat fries. If I do, I will surely die!" The fries were so golden, so crispy, lightly salted, fresh from the deep fryer. "I will just have
fuzzy worms and sit in the corner alone." The fry cook felt sorry for her and said, "How about an onion ring?" She blushed, wondering what he meant by that.
She imagined her and the fry cook having an onion wedding. Every guest crying as they embraced at the altar, and then her mind swam to their unpeeling on the honeymoon.
Of course, that's not what the fry cook meant by "onion ring". Still, he took pity on her poor Walla Walla soul and spared her from the oil. Sitting on the shelf by the stove, she
contemplated her life. Once, she was an onion - full and round, with a papery skin that was the envy of the allotment. Cruelly cut down, her remaining ring feared the oil, but also
found the determination to see tears in the eyes of she who dropped her into the hot oil. She dug deep into the onion core, what was left of it. An onion made a mushroom cloud.

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