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I woke up panting as if just ran a marathon.

  • I woke up panting as if just ran a marathon. I could now fairly remember the dream but for sure it wasn't a good one. I opened my dream diary and tried my best to recall it suddenl
  • y a SWAT team crashed through my bedroom door and windows simultaneously, shattering the morning quiet. One yelled "Hand over the dream diary! Now!" I held it out, but then jumped
  • from under the bed a purple unicorn/coat-rack thing I had dreamt about the night before. The beast threw the SWAT team about like matchsticks. "Hop on my back!" it whinnied.
  • I did as it commanded, grabbing onto its shining mane and hiking my pyjama skirts up to ride him. Finally! Finally my dream is materialising because of this beautiful horned horse.
  • Unfortunately the horse's horn grew out it's back side, just under it's tail. It shot bolts of lightening every the horse walked. My hair was standing on end because of the charged
  • solar hot water. In anticipation my hair parted and waited for me to lather it with the silky perfumed shampoo. My hair pranced about on my head in delight at being wash in
  • sun drenched water. Each follicle warbled in praise. My scalp was humming with tiny chants. My hair writhed Medusa-like in glee. I was so happy for my hair that I burst into tears
  • "The HairClub for Men really does work!" I shouted it from the rooftops!! That is until the next morning. I rushed to the closest mirror to see my new Fabio-inspired hair, & 2 my
  • utter astonishment, I was completely hairless. I head looked like a baby's butt. I lost ALL the hair on my body. What's worse, upon further inspection, I noticed I was also female.
  • I had to get a second opinion on this. So for half an hour I attempted to parallel park my car. Then some jerk called the police. Thanks to the jerk, I now know I was only high.

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