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Jack traded his last guitar for five magic

  • Jack traded his last guitar for five magic beans. Evening came early in the canyons of the city. The dangers were numerous, but the legumes were luminous. Jack planted one of them
  • in the planter on his balcony. Then he watched tv & dozed off on the sofa. A car alarm woke Jack. It was pitch black but for a glow from the balcony. The beanstalk had grown
  • right into a 747 that was now a smouldering wreck lodged against a huge bean pod. Jack realized that the black box might contain evidence that he had
  • installed anti-aircraft FarSight XR-20's in his beanstalks (the bullet holes in the 747 were condemning). Jack climbed for the clouds. But the mayor brought ribbon-cutting scissors
  • and an extra length of ribbon, ready to open up Jack's private beanstalks and Cloudsdale kingdom to the world. The planes were downed, but the guns in Jack's stalks had jammed.
  • Suddenly, the Giant poked his head through the cloud. 'Excuse me,' he muttered, 'but at this point in the story you're supposed to chop down the beanstalk. Do you need an axe?'
  • Jack pulled the rip cord of his Makita DCS621 64cc chainsaw and glared up at Giant. "See ya in Hades, big boy!" he screamed as he tore through the beanstalk in 2 seconds. But Giant
  • was too clever for such brutal tactics, and slid fireman-style down the beanpole before Jack had cut halfway through. The Giant grinned, slime dribbling down its chin, and reached
  • down to pluck Jack off the ground. He licked his lips and then took the first bite, severing both legs just above the knee. Jack screamed. Blood sprayed everywhere. The giant chewe
  • d, "Fee Fie Foe Fum, English gamey as they come." The Giant from then on decided he would be more selective in his eating habits and switched to a diet of strict vegans.
Started
2011-07-27 20:23:56
Finished
2013-05-31 00:07:50

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman May 31 2013 @ 07:40

    Wow! An adult version of Jack and the Bean Stalk. I like how to Giant horns in and steals the show. Brilliant!

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