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Chortkin struggled to wake up. He was bound

  • Chortkin struggled to wake up. He was bound and gagged on a waterbed filled with piranhas, and wearing a lace negligee. Putin smirked. "Desire, frustration, danger: these make life
  • a bowl of cherries...flambe! Putin squirted briquet fuel on Chortkin. Putin lit Chortkin's manuscript on fire and tossed it on to the dystopian fiction writer's chest. Hot flames
  • rose from Chortkin's manuscript as it bounced from her chest to the floor. Unharmed from the flames she started eating the bowl of cherries while spitting the pits on Putin's
  • oily chest. So Putin nastily called Chortkin & told him about his burnt manuscript. Distraught, Chortkin boarded the first ferry from Mull. By now she'd finished the cherries & was
  • preparing nuclear warheads to dramatically end this little charade. It wasn't long before Putin was contacting her back, the fear clearly evident in his voice. "Why would you end
  • the relationship we had? What have I ever done to you?" -"Vladimir", she said "It's not up to me to decide. They've already put 1000 rockets on the shore, ready to launch as soon
  • as the bug in the lauchpad is fixed." Vladimir stared at her. "What leaders have we become, that we can lead but in one direction? Make peace as lovers, but not for our nations?"
  • The US president made spaghetti with meat sauce, not what Putin liked. Putin replied, "let me show you how to cook!" he grabbed the meat cleaver and a suitcase of stolen vodka.
  • After taking his shirt off, Putin continued to drink the entire bottle of vodka. "Weren't you supposed to teach me how to cook?" The President asked. Putin laughed and said
  • "I have not finished my vodka." Putin then proceeded to chug the whole bottle down in one go. The President, forgot about the cooking lesson, and started chanting, "CHUG CHUG CHUG"
Started
2012-03-03 08:30:12
Finished
2016-04-25 14:32:52

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