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June woke up and instantly realized she was

  • June woke up and instantly realized she was still dressed in her Renaissance Fair costume. She immediately regretted being cajoled into wearing it. She also realized she lay on a
  • unicorn, which was leaping over rainbows in a field of lollipops and daisies. June had tripped on acid before, but this time it felt so real. She dismounted the unicorn and
  • fell fifty feet into an ocean of treacle, where she was caught up by the current. She drifted in her drug-induced haze for what seemed like a hundred miles, until she reached
  • outskirts of a syrup swamp. Still coming down from her trip, she schlumped her body to the dry land. An elf walked by. "WELCOME TO SUGARLANDIA." She eyed him, "Oooh, flashback."
  • Then the elf slapped my girlfriend and said, "This is candy land bitch!"
  • So I grabbed the punk elf, got him in a headlock and said "You're way outta pocket now you pint-sized midget!" I threw him up against the base of the Gumdrop Mountains. But then 4
  • more of his midget friends came at me. I wondered why they looked so familiar. It was like there were only the same twenty or so elves working this damn operation. Fuck the shoes
  • had those useless spirals at the tips with bells hanging off of them. I just about pissed myself laughing at them. Well they weren't amused. It was part of their corporate identity
  • and soon I faced their corporate lawyer firing squad. As they marched into place their jester hat bells jingled. "Any last words?"
  • "No." I replied, barely able to control my naked terror. I cringed as the lawyers raised their muskets and aimed for my heart.... and then without warning I WOKE UP WITH A START!!!
Started
2011-05-02 18:23:00
Finished
2012-10-21 14:01:28

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Oct 21 2012 @ 14:52

    Don't mess with the Keevil elves... Somewhere there is a story where they bake the "One cookie" but I can't find it.

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