I don't know about God, but the Devil is

  • I don't know about God, but the Devil is a woman for sure. How else can you explain
  • the pentagrams on my bathroom mirror drawn in lipstick? I had succumbed to the succubus at a square-dance singles mixer. She was pretty good at promenading and hid her tail well.
  • But that's just an excuse.I'm pretty self-aware and have no trouble admitting I'm kind of an idiot. Especially when attracted to a square-dancing succubus, so it was my own damn
  • fault. I should never have bet the devil a fiddle of gold against my soul to prove I was a better "fiddler'" than him. The devil opened up his case. Fire flew from his fingertips a
  • nd ignited the thermite charges surrounding the stump. In seconds, the plucky Southern boy was a torch of flames, his fiddle crisping in his hands. "Oops" said the Prince of
  • Darkness.He turned and faced the remaining members of the Charlie Daniels Band and boy, did they look pissed."I was in a bind &I was way behind & I was just trying to make a deal!
  • Please take this banana as a peace offering" he said in a whining voice. The remaining members of the band cheerfully accepted the delicious fruit as a gift and returned to
  • play the 2nd set at RedRocks, that is until the replacement drummer, Gustav Schafer accidentally downed the banana, carelessly throwing the peel onto the stage, and Jessica Simpson
  • slipped in her 3 ft stilettos causing her obnoxiously short skirt to fly up over her waist baring the chastity belt her creepy Dad made her wear which only caused Snoop Dog to
  • give up on his quest for the golden skull and realize that his weed was causing some serious hallucinations and a false sense of confidence that he could act. The End :-)


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