46

I'd finally figured out a way to beat the

  • I'd finally figured out a way to beat the system and flooded my bloodstream with extreme amounts of plant growth hormone. I was lined up on the starting blocks and felt positively
  • charged from sticking my tongue on a 9 volt batter. It hurts so goood. I hope
  • Granny doesn't need all this batter for her battery acid cookies. She's always told me never to waste anything, hence the used dryer sheet lasagna in the oven. I can smell the
  • turkey baking in the oven right now, marinated in- you definitely don't want to know. But I ALWAYS followed Granny's "waste not, want not" advice and that's why my bathroom has
  • 672 jars of "the sauce" stored away. But then the culture mutated, took on a lumbering humanoid shape & chased me down the hall! Granny didn't warn me about this! Thanksgiving was
  • one big adventure when your family dabbled in cloning experimentation. We could hardly wait to see what Granny would "cook up" for us for Christmas with the special sauce.
  • It turned out it wasn't all that... Granny simply had cloned the turkey from the year before, because as she put it: "It's goddamn expensive". However the 'special' sauce was somet
  • hing wicked because when we began to baste the turkey with it, we heard a gobble, & then the turkey said, "Why am I being eaten again?" It's the last time I eat grandma's cloned
  • corn grits. The talking turkey went to grandmas room and pulled out a pair of green socks from a drawer. The turkey then happily put the green socks on it's skinny legs. Not a perf
  • ect way to live, but it's a turkey. They wouldn't know perfect if it savagely beat them to death. Which is what grandma did after finding out that the turkey stole her socks.
Started
2011-06-23 22:49:35
Finished
2012-12-12 21:03:47

0 Comments

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!