She was a hefty aunt who went to too much

She was a hefty aunt who went to too much therapy. She worked out by walking and kept her energy up with Tiger's Milk Bars. So when the people showed up she had only
empty candy wrappers and breath that smelled of stale powdered milk. Needless to say, she wasn't the favorite aunt among the children, but she
gave the best eight days of Chanukah presents to all of them, despite the fact that they were Catholic, and so was she. It was her way of teaching them about her dead husband,
who was quite devout. For each of the eight days of Chanukah, she would give out some Catholic tchotchke under the guise of honoring her husband's memory. She was a wily one.
So wily, that she fooled herself into thinking that she had been married and that she was Jewish. In fact, she was a pentacostal, transgender woman, who spoken fluently in tongues
only Lindsay Lohan and herself could understand. In fact, that wasn't the only thing those two had in common.
Lohan would steal necklaces. She would steal pull-tabs at the VFW. Lohan would ditch rehab. She would ditch Bingo nights. Truly, the had a lot in common. But when they met,
they never had anything to say to each other. She would offer a half-enthusiastic joke, and Lohan would try to chuckle. But there was never any ultimate satisfaction in it all.
The marriage went from bad to worse. During one of his two week business trips, Lohan fell in love with another man. As a gynecologist, he had gone off
and ruined his whole life. Looking back, he wished that he hadn't made so many bad decisions. He gave up gynecology forever and started to work at a charity. Maybe he'd find love.

Started: 2010-12-08 12:45:29
Finished: 2011-04-25 21:08:56

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