Inside the porcelain palace the toilet whisperer

  • Inside the porcelain palace the toilet whisperer was able to coax a change in the
  • sacred waters. The commode hadn't been cleaned in so long, a new lifeform had evolved. He called himself the toilet whisperer and each new deposit made him stronger.
  • The toilet whisperer was microscopic, hiding behind an evergreen-scented rim hanger, calling upwards with his tiny voice, "ssshhhittttt..." The toilet whisperer coveted each chunk
  • , you know what I mean? The Toilet Whisperer had grown up on a toilet ranch. Lot's of wild commodes were ridden and beaten. The Toilet Whisperer knew there had to be another way
  • . He enfolded the trembling toilet in his manly arms. "Harsh bleach and brushes are the past now," the Toilet Whisperer..err..whispered. "Only the softest bottoms wil
  • l henceforth rest themselves upon thy hallowed seat. Fear not, my brave porcelain soldier, for thine is the way of righteousness and the sins of those who would bleach you will be
  • cast back upon them from your oracular depths. For though they try to void themselves of their filthy consumptions you back up. Sitting on my throne I raised my scepter, the plunge
  • into darkness would be a rather uncomfortable one. This was going to be one hell of a bumpy ride.
  • I held on tightly for a long time, but after four hours, I let go. What a pity, I thought, as I began a sudden free-fall into the abyss. Eventually I would hit rock bottom.
  • My thoughts lingered eternally inside the folds linking the tiniest scales of time, I realized gravity was its subject, and I was reinvented.


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