When Ida became a vampire, a new problem

When Ida became a vampire, a new problem presented itself:
She got fangs so she couldnt have oral sex anymore.
So thomas come up with a good idea
It was such a good idea, Thomas could hardly contain himself! He had to tell someone, but still had to keep his good idea a secret. So Thomas told Helen Keller.
Thomas's English Muffins thrilled Helen Keller. They were so crusty and round. They were a tactile fantasy land for Helen. Helen invited Thomas over every afternoon, but she
then realized it was all a lie, she couldn't see or hear, so of course none really happened! "Foolish Helen Keller!" thought Helen Keller. "It was just my lonely imagination
working overtime again." Helen Keller didn't complain, though. She wanted to meet a man, get married, have children, feel sexy and loved. She sighed. "Sigh." 2 weeks later, she met
A three headed man with bony legs, who wore a green fedora hat. Mr. Teagarden took Helen to a tea garden. There they danced all night and Mr.Teagarden became a tricorn. All 3 heads
wore tricorner hats. Helen took Mr. Teagarden to Mount St. Helens for a picnic, but the deviled eggs floated off on a river of lava when the volcano erupted. Damned deviled eggs!
The curse didn't stop there, however. The date ended in disaster, the food ruined and Mr. Teagarden's hair singed to embers. Helen vowed never to create another truce with E.G.G.

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