Jerry measured time by the stack of unread

Jerry measured time by the stack of unread Newsweeks in the corner. He regretted buying that lifetime subscription almost as much as Jane's attempt at

reordering them according to the number of references to spam which tappered off significantly after the second world war and picked up again briefly when Monty Python was popular.

Spam and Monty Python references were God's curse on humans for accepting the knowledge of good and evil. Both things "sounded ok" until you tried them and then

the next thing you knew you were being held hostage by the Spanish Inquisition and their pathetic torture devices. Hell, their leader wasn't even played by a proper Brit!

So why did you do it, huh? Why did you risk countless lives just to get revenge on the man that held the door for your wife and kids at the mall while you were working? Ashamed,

the clown took out his handkerchief and began wiping away his make-up, knowing that he no longer deserved to wear it. Things were changing, it was high time he

cleaned himself up and get a real job. Clowns weren't useful anymore, hell, they scared half as many children as they made laugh. "I blame stephen king" he mumbled, a frown on his

face, one that seemed to almost twist into a smile before he angrily grabbed his large red nose and viciously grinding it into to the ground beneath his oversized shoes. And so off

went the horrible bearded man on another one of his rants. "Freaking maggots with their dirty little hands with terrible eyes and horrible teeth! How dare you defy me!" "

"I don't know. I'm a rebel." replied a maggot. "Want a ciggie?"