49

He was a cliche skateboarder

  • He was a cliche skateboarder
  • with separation anxiety. Every kickflip sent him into a frenzy. His dreams of being reincarnated as a fridge magnet were farfetched so, for now, he tied himself to his board and
  • put a dishtowel over his face, shot up with ketamine and waterboarded himself with beer slushies. In no time at all his Olympic dreams and offshoot merchandize prospects f
  • -lourished. His Special K and beer waterboarding training regiment gained traction, and soon hopeful Olympians worldwide were buying his $39.99 DVD collection. A dreadful accident
  • waiting to happen, if you ask me, since it seems the world already has too many aspiring Olympians. What we need is less sportsmen, more engineers, more murderous barbers of Fleet
  • street and fewer plasticene porters at the hotels. Because of too ,many hipsters, we are doomed as a civilization to repeatthe mistakes of the Roman emperors. Sad but true.
  • Just today I saw a guys wearing a toga in line at the DMV. Then I saw a flyer about chariot races at Rattle Snake Raceway this weekend. Man, I can't believe we're emulating Romans
  • but what the heck, at least the wine is good. I stopped by 7-11 on the way home to pick up an amphora of wine. Then the missus and I sat on the steps of the rotunda and got tipsy.
  • I was ready for anything I was so sloshed. I stood there with a smile on and nothing but a smile on. The missus commented on it. "Harold your honey bunches of oats are showing."
  • But I sowed them didn't I? You can't say I didn't sow my oats. I have 3 2(1) oats and their oatlets to show that. The paper trail will not find anything up that avenue. I am sure.
Started
2012-01-21 02:15:37
Finished
2017-03-23 23:01:05

6 Comments

  1. Avatar

    LordVacuity Mar 23 2017 @ 23:04

    I am not as sure.
  2. Avatar

    LordVacuity Mar 23 2017 @ 23:06

    I have my suspicions; we all do. I mean like how come we have not seen his wife since the 4th of July party?
  3. Avatar

    LordVacuity Mar 23 2017 @ 23:09

    And he is tending her garden that the whole neighborhood knows he hated. Suddenly it needs so much watering that there is going to be moss there come watermelon time.
  4. Avatar

    BlastedHeath Mar 25 2017 @ 20:44

    Guffaws at 7-11 and an amphora of wine!
  5. Avatar

    pinky Mar 29 2017 @ 01:44

    Got to agree Woab, that was a pretty good line, knarf!
  6. Avatar

    Woab Mar 29 2017 @ 14:03

    Thank you, Heath and Pinky. Wish I could share an amphora with you guys!

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