I'm not sure anyone was really surprised

  • I'm not sure anyone was really surprised the day I screamed some pretty colorful new curse words at my boss, quit my job, and ran off to join the circus.
  • After a couple of weeks dressed in a sea lion costume & living off raw mackerel I decided to text my ex-boss to see how the land lay, as it were. She was only too pleased to hear
  • me doing my sea lion impressions. After three hours I was exhausted and my throat was raw. Finally I said to my boss, "Come on, tell it to me straight. Is it safe to come back?"
  • Cecil the sea lion and Ian Anderson said, it is okay. And please join us for tea. So I did. The jam sarnies were delicious. Cecil, despite being a sea lion, was a great cook.
  • "I hardly get a chance to cook when I am at sea," explained Cecil the sea lion. "Sometimes I am lucky and can whip something up in a split second over a hot vent in the sea floor.
  • But those don't always heat evenly. And that's why I get seasick." Cecil the Sea Lion tweaked his mustache and hoped the 70s naval officers wouldn't realize he was a sea lion.
  • But since he always smoked salmon, not tobacco, in his pipe, the 70's naval officers soon saw Cecil for the pinniped he was, and tossed him overboard, splashing their paisley ties
  • with seawater. Cecil addressed the officers on the ship. “C’mon in,” he said, “the water’s fine!” They looked side to side as if asking, ‘should we listen to a goddamned seal?’ The
  • ship swayed, as the seal grabbed onto the rope hanging over the edge of it.
  • The armed men on the ship noticed the sway. They looked around but being unaccustomed to shipboard life didn't know where to look. By the time they did the seal was gone. KABOOM!


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