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The X-Men could have stopped the bank robbers

  • The X-Men could have stopped the bank robbers and saved the day, but they were too busy bemoaning that they were mutants and no one understood them. The constant whining started
  • when Cyclops was disqualified from Olympic Skeet. "It's an optic blast, not a skeet-seeking missile," he cried. Synchronously, Wolverine resorted to cutting, but his healing factor
  • made that pretty unsatisfying. Thankfully Professor X was cleaning up at the World Series of Poker. The Iceman had a good gig down at the Coors factory but all in all something was
  • wrong with Professor X's poker strategy. He just kept winning. I couldn't figure out the Prof was cheating, but I knew he was. I'm a cheater. Cheating requires losing sometimes
  • in order to lure in more suckers. But eventually Prof. X went high on a pair of jacks after everyone went all in and lost all his winnings to that fool cousin of mine Goober.
  • Goober rolled all about on his translucent green dodecapods, to feign some exuberance at its defeat of Professor X, but Goober's poker face was pretty much
  • awful. Everyone knew that he was actually thinking about pancakes, and this delicious recipe his grandmother had sent him last Tuesday. Who needs Professor X when you have
  • Grandma. She knew all the right moves. She flipped pancakes with the best of them. He admired her skill and prestige but the evil Professor X plotted to poison granny with
  • Granny Smith apples. But Grandma's neighbor, Snow White, tipped her off about Professor X even before the edges of her last batch of pancakes could brown. Grandma flipped the bird
  • over in the pan and injected it with saline & anti-mutant serum, then popped it in the oven. Granny Magneto adjusted her helmet & then began to make the batter for the Toad cakes.

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