14

Ronnie was the guttural screamer for Retching

  • Ronnie was the guttural screamer for Retching Uvulas, a death metal band. Lately he'd been listening to George Michael and hoped his bandmates would welcome a new direction. "Guys,
  • I woke up this morning totally metrosexual after a really intense dream about a dolphin with ironic facial hair breast feeding me." Lars the bassist stroked his massive beard
  • contemplatively,then examined his well-manicured hands. Lars replied,"I believe what you are saying is that you want me." I admitted it myself. I dug Swedish bass players. Lars was
  • later discovered to be Danish and obsessed with copyright laws. Lars would have a hissy fit every time someone downloaded his music. Mozart suggested he
  • calm down and have a Vanilla Ice T with an extra Ice Cube. Lars ordered one from Willie his waiter, but they were all sold out. Willie recommended Lars try an Arnold Palmer. That's
  • lemonade and ice-tea with a dash of old country club bigotry. Willie handed Lars the dink drink list. Each cocktail was named after a famous jerk. "Does this have tiger's milk?"
  • "I'm sorry, sir," apologized the bartender, "We're out of tiger's milk for the evening. But if it makes you feel better, the next shipment will be arriving tomorrow afternoon."
  • He winked. Yeah, sure, like this could wait 'till tomorrow afternoon. I put my hands on the surface of the bar and looked the bartender in the eye. "Listen
  • Carefully as Dr. Hdffdddfgooo explains why the North and Clybourn subway stop is so suffocaringly crowded and what one can do if waiting tiers are three layers deeper than thought.
  • "And that's the walk along the tracks and deal with it!" he said. "Yeah, I don't care if they're electrified. I just enjoy the smell."
Started
2012-08-29 13:07:55
Finished
2016-05-25 11:33:25

0 Comments

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!