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A thousand years of war. A thousand of solitude.

  • A thousand years of war. A thousand of solitude. Immortality had exacted its price
  • which -- not by coincidence -- was the precise GDP of Ukraine minus Crimea. Putin rubbed his ancient chin and contemplated the synchronicity while playing 196 simultaneous chess
  • games. His thoughts were interrupted by a soft "Checkmate." Putin, startled, peered down at a small girl with big brown eyes staring up at him. "You were not paying attention, sir.
  • Putin thrashed the girl's board asunder in one swift motion. "I do NOT lose." In that moment, he was 7 again in Leningrad, Tommy Ulanov pressing his face to the ground. "I will
  • have my revenge!" When Tommy Ulanov was principal dancer at the Bolshoi, Putin laced his tights with polonium. Diva, Nadia Tushovnikova, gave birth to a 2 headed kitten & Putin vow
  • ed to put a two-headed kitty emblem on the Russian flag, and also to teach Koshki Ulyanovii how to accompany him in piano duets. Three weeks later, Putin and Koshki presented
  • him with the "best single-person duet performance" award. Obama then casually strolls in, plucks the sheet of legal paper from the man's hands, and strides out the door. Today was
  • was being watched by the NSA. Obama had fallen in and out of love with his base so many times that forgot they even existed. He drew a large platypus on the legal paper and
  • passed it into congress as a bill. The Tea Party vehemently objected so the Democrats rubbed salt in it just to wound. And that's how a Platypus bill got passed.
  • However the dustbowl literally dusted the bill away. Bit by bit the granite was torn away, "What a skein," Was the last statement I heard from anybody after the bill was recovered

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