I walked in, only to find what I expected,

I walked in, only to find what I expected, but wanted to avoid. "Charlie!" I yelled, rushing to his body. He had lost a lot of blood, and I knew he wasn't going to make it.

From his blood, I made a traditional Hungarian blood cake. From his body, I made a proud statue in the way i would see him remembered.

From his spirit, I made a dragon kite with large eyes and a very long tail. I used to fly it down at Playa del Batguano until one day the string snapped and

the dragon tumbled down through the air, landing to cloak me like an untightened kimono. Having merged with the soul-dragon, I rose above the skyscrapers to carry out my new duty:

being a D.A.R.E. officer. I warned 5th graders nationwide of the dangers of merging with soul-dragons. It was a tough sell, because there aren't any dangers. I'm a fucking dragon.

Of course, being told by a D.A.R.E. officer to not become a dragon just made the kids want to be dragons even more, and sure enough, it wasn't long before the entire fifth grade

graduated to the sixth grade. Except for Tim. Then they all got hair. Except for Tim. Then they all discovered sex. Except for Tim. Tim stared through the 5th grade

at the place where his genitals were supposed to be. Tim wasn't sure why nothing went right for him, but the constant reminded was just too much.

Tim looked at his crotch again. Perfectly smooth like all the dolls in his collection. Maybe the dolls were anatomically correct and the pornos & medical encyclopedia were a hoax?

He would have to be extra sure & read through much of the material for his research purposes. Read through it very carefully, pore over every airbrushed pixel. Tim was meticulous.