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She benefited from falling in love more than

  • She benefited from falling in love more than most. When Kristin was in love, her clone would instinctively follow her man, protecting him from adultery using sadistic torture and
  • photos of Snooky to obliterate his libido. Kristin's clone was a godsend until she watched Multiplicity. Her clone realized she'd been living like a slave to the original and
  • decided to move to Duluth or El Paso; didn't matter. She just wanted to be in a place where she could be herself and pursue her passion for decopage and karaoke while doodling with
  • mirror-image etch-a-sketch still lifes of tex mex meals. She figured she could market them to a cantina as window ads to finance her crippling decopage addiction. Her scissors
  • had caused calluses to form on her hands which made her insensitive to heat which was useful when cooking. The day a burgler, broke in and shook her etch-a-sketch collection
  • was when these calluses really came in handy. She grabbed the burglar and began slapping his face. Her rock-hard palms instantly bruised his face and made all his teeth fly out.
  • "It's Clobbering Time!" and threw the robber through the front window. In the shadows, the mastermind, No-Nose Ned, thought, "Dat brick palmed broad has ruined my plans! How will
  • I get that 1 million dollars for my nose operation? All of my minions are idiots. I really should request a refund from "Minions are us" but first to the sub. The hatch closed
  • and a crewmate immediately flatulated. Another got seasick on the navigational computer screen. This all made me violently claustrophobic.I started clawing at the submarine hatch
  • but by that time they were already descending. Water seeped in by the boat-load through the screen door, and those that didn't drown were raped by dolphins or eaten by sharks.
Started
2011-02-25 02:52:17
Finished
2012-03-11 22:23:03

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    49erFaithful Mar 12 2012 @ 18:46

    Reminds me of the time I went deep-sea fishing in the San Francisco Bay. Eerily similar events.
  2. Avatar

    Chaz Mar 12 2012 @ 19:26

    I was once offered a fruit cake during scuba diving off the Florida Keys, with similar results.

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