"Please hold onto the safety bar as the bus

"Please hold onto the safety bar as the bus passes over this bridge" said the driver, who quickly added "in case something crawls out from under it".
It was the bus driver's usual shtick. He'd been doing the Nessie tour bus thing for twenty years. He started hitting the sauce while driving five years ago because
the sauce kept jumping in front of his bus, presumably protesting how all those tourists exploited the sauceophibians, an endangered species in Scotland. He always tried to swerve
away from the little creatures so that he hit the saladobians instead (he loved the sound of a squashed cucumber, and hated that vegetable so much). But today was no different.
The food hole was busier than ever.
I saw people from all walks of life, lined up with their bundles and boxes full of food, ready to throw them into the impossibly large hole. One old man in particular caught my eye
because he had the smallest box of food, almost like it was all he had to throw. I walked up to him and asked, "Excuse me, why are people throwing food in that hole?"
"Oh, that? That's the pie-hole." He replied, throwing scraps of bacon into the mossy crater. The bacon was there for a moment, then dissolved and the pie-hole was empty once again.
"Want pie!" the pie-hole moaned, but when I turned around I saw that he had gone and left me there to feed it! "WANT PIE!" it said, louder this time. "Shut UP!" I yelled at it.
I had no peach or cherry pie so, in desperation I dove for pizza pie. It is the only pie known to truly sate the pie hole. Meat lovers all the way. "Want..." *Stuff.* Ah peace. ;3

Started: 2012-10-20 17:16:23
Finished: 2016-12-09 16:59:25

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