I learned everything I needed to know in

I learned everything I needed to know in kindergarten. Like "What mine is mine and so is yours", "Show me your and I'll show you mine!", "Afternoon naps are OK Nooners are better"

I fondly remember when my nap buddy showed me how to make a shit sandwich with no bread. First you

and now you

take your turn, blind to the past. Hunter wrote, "If all you've got to live for is what you left behind, get yourself a powder charge and seal that silver mine." A wise man once

fucked me in the ass, but that's irrelevant. I heeded Hunter's advice and made plans for my future: I started a recycling club at my grad school and invested in stocks for

companies building auto-tele-dildonic devices. Wired magazine had a major article dedicated to it, and they have been right on everything except the flying car. My ass indeed

needed a thick dildoing from a Thor or something bigger, but this girl was strapped for cash, and I didn't have the place to myself and was afraid the shipping label would reveal

the real contents of the container. I would be completely embarrassed if they persisted in their intention of opening this big box filled with dildo's, vibrators and worse: Shauna

was my mother's best friend. "Stop!" I shouted. "It's... um... a bomb!" Not realising that the bomb squad would arrive to defuse a box full of sex toys.

As the package started vibrating, the remote control bomb manipulator deftly fired a water cannon. Phallic devices were found in the next county.