24

"By hook or by crook, by crook or by flail,

  • "By hook or by crook, by crook or by flail, You must flood the Earth so that I can set sail," chanted a Mojave boy desperate for adventure. God loved a good deluge, so He obliged
  • by sending Robert Downy Jr. to the Mojave desert to meet with the boy. But on the way, Robert Downy Jr. stopped off to have a drink in Indio. Just a drink, only one. That's when
  • all hell broke loose. Literally. Flames erupted, lava spewed & demons flew screeching into the desert sky. Robert Downey Jr. calmly turned back to the bartender."Make that a double
  • ." The Bartender, now cloven hoved poured Bealzebub's Ballbuster, lit it & said to Downey "I'll make you a wager. If you down this in one gulp all the worlds riches are yours, but
  • if you down it in zero gulps, the you will be granted an honorary doctorate in physics. The choice is yours." Robert had always coveted a PhD, but his little problem had prevented
  • him from downing things in less than one gulp. He managed in 0.5 gulps. A personal best. "Can I have my physics PhD now?" he asked. His throat burned from swallowing in decimals
  • A pint of blueberries. His wife timed him and it took 30 seconds to tend to the whole thing. She went out and bought more, since they were on sale at the roadside farmstand nearby.
  • The blueberries made pies & cakes & muffins. Having a husband who can cook is the best. That is until someone else discovers it. His cheating heart was revealed when the pies
  • he baked spelled out "He's cheating" as he laid them on the racks to cool. His wife thanked the pies and threw them in his face. With every pelt of pie he whimpered, knowing that
  • no matter how he sliced it, she was right. She always was.
Started
2013-06-01 11:12:30
Finished
2016-10-27 01:41:15

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Woab Oct 27 2016 @ 10:35

    Nice end, dreamer.

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