As I lay dying on the road to Costco, I was

  • As I lay dying on the road to Costco, I was passed by dozens of pilgrims, the holy, the walking ascended, in the world but not of it, their faces lit by their uplifted palms, resi

  • n-stained Cheetos-orange fingers protruding like tens of points of bright light in the night's approach. I refused to die. By will alone I raised up, grasped a pilgrim and asked

  • if he forgot his pop-gun. He claimed to not know what I was talking about, but that the bag of Cheetos was his. "Hand it over and nobody gets hurt." "Easy there, Pilgrim."

  • But the Chinese fellow, who had long hair & a sling pack, made weird hand motions and changed his stance. Next I knew I was on the ground. "Never take Cheetos from a Shaolin priest

  • . Especially when he's wearing a fanny pack." You learn something new every day. It took awhile, but finally I worked what the Shaolin priest's hand gestures meant.

  • The priest faked an eye poke, slapped his cheeks and then pulled them apart and said "Nyuk nyuk nyuk." The Shaolin priest was a three stooges fan! He responded to the priest by

  • mocking his Curly. "I've seen better Curlys in my grandmothers bed pan," he said but in a very think Prussian accent not seen since 20 minutes ago when that other guy used it.

  • Moe and Larry took the book and hit him on the head. "Ouch!", Curly said. Moe said, "You are a first class moron for hijacking Maxwell's silver hammer. Maxwell needed it back."

  • "Son of a bitch!" stammered Larry. There was a stomach-turning moment as Moe and Curly stood there, stunned. The universe felt like it had imploded. "You knuckle-head..." said Moe.

  • He gave him the porverbial noogy. Then with a swat on the butt and a "Nuck, nuck, woobity, woobit," the stooges exited stage left where three hot mamas were waiting.



  1. Woab Nov 04 2016 @ 14:18

    Amazing how well this one has been received.

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