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Andrea brushed the sand aside. Inside was

  • Andrea brushed the sand aside. Inside was a box, and inside the box was a stunning Egyptian amulet , from the reign of Hatshepsut if she wasn't mistaken. Compelled to put it on,
  • she then admired herself in the mirror. Hatshepsut's amulet sparkled gloriously against Andrea's chest. Her eyes narrowed. The final piece in her intricate plans for
  • world peace. Andrea had tirelessly campaigned for America to stop being the world police. Her efforts changed the aggressive nature of the government's foreign policy
  • and America became the world's mall cops. A legion of troops on Hover-Segways was sent to make sure no one in Europe was stealing stuff. "We're unarmed and clichédly overweight but
  • we're prepared to squash unarmed European shop-lifters to death if needs be & that requires heft." It was hard for European mallsters to keep up with the US mall cops' demands for
  • equal access to the restrooms, but we gave it the old college try. European mallsters were no match for the US mall cops.
  • In 2016, the US mall cops were better prepared, but got mistaken for Squirtles. Since they didn't know Pokemon Go, they were for the first time flustered and captured by players.
  • Mall Cop Command blamed bad intel. Pokemon Go had not been on their radar at all. The closest response protocol they had on hand was for a Flash Mob: Freeze. It was not up to the t
  • -oilet crew to control a frenzied mob, but they did their best, beating the overenthusiastic gamers about the heads with plungers and urinal cakes, until the Mall Cops arrived.
  • The Mall Cops on the their electric scooters just looked at the scene and laughed. How could a crime scene be so ridiculous? Amused, they just rode away.

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