"Oi! No! Get off! Stop it!" But it was too

"Oi! No! Get off! Stop it!" But it was too late. Luis Suarez had bitten the postman again.
His suspension from the World Cup meant Luis Suarez spent more time at home with the kids. He would bite their napes and carry them, and the postman, in his mouth like a mama bear.
But a mama bear who's bite usually broke the skin. A rabid weasel was the simile his neighbors used. Neither Luis Suarez's kids nor the postman cared for the rawhide chew toys he
strewn all over the front yard. But Luis Suarez, famed footballer, had to keep his jaw a well-oiled wrecking machine. Every morning at dawn, he chomped on iron wood dowels.
Luis Suarez would never give up on his dream of having the strongest bite in all professional football, and soon he would prove it by becoming a cannibal full-time. But first, he
needed to figure out where to hang that awful picture. Luis Suarez had a lot of wall space. The "painting" if you could call it that, was done by a Dutch flunky named
Lars. Just "Lars". What an idiot. Who does he think he is? Damn elitist. The picture couldn't be considered for the den wall or the entryway, but needed a tucked away spot, perhaps
in the latrine next to the "throne". Yes, he thought, this is the perfectly ironic spot for Lars' self congratulatory photograph. He could make good on his promise to Lars but keep
the truth from him, or he could not go through with it and tell Lars everything he knew. It was a difficult decision and so eventually he came to the conclusion to hang himself
from the nearest streetlight. As he was tossing the rope over the pole, he was hit by a bus and splattered all over the road. He would have smiled if his lips weres till attached.

Started: 2014-06-28 02:41:08
Finished: 2015-07-08 11:20:35

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