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I'll never forget the day my goatee came

  • I'll never forget the day my goatee came to life. You see, I'd found this top hot in a thrift store, and, on a whim, I'd stuck my goat in it and mumbled a quick prayer to Satan.
  • But a mouthful of sugar daddies messed up my mumbled prayer and I accidentally prayed to Zoroastor and my goatee exploded into a gigantic
  • pink beard made of cotton candy, and decorated with googly eyes. Some grayscale teenagers from mid previous century revved up and shined their headlights upon me, but I'm still
  • thinking about the my mother gave me tickets to Glastonbury Festival. It rained and my tent sunk into the mud but I didn't mind because I met the Chemical Brothers in the queue for
  • public lavatories. "Chemical Bros! You guyz are all techno and everything! Can I take your picture?" Moby tapped me on the back. "Can you move it? I gotta go." "Just wait." I said.
  • But Moby couldn't wait. (He was Moby Dick, after all.) He pushed me and my camera into the Chemical Brothers and there was quite a reaction.
  • The Chemical Brothers crystals fell and knocked over the fossils. Shards were flying everywhere! Moby Dick kept slamming into us. I frantically tried to save the last fossil and
  • put it my mouth. It was a cockroach fossil & reanimated in my gullet, the great great great great ancestor of OMG Delaney. Great Grandpappy Delaney crawled into my ear & whispered
  • "There is no such thing as a bad guitar, just bad players," Then he chuckled and gave a shrug of his insectoid shoulders, shook his head and walked away whistling a tune that was v
  • ery melodious. He had finally found nirvana.

2 Comments

  1. SlimWhitman Jan 04 2015 @ 06:32

    Does Moby play guitar?

  2. Chaz Jan 04 2015 @ 09:26

    Moby does play guitar. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfQYK8P3fr0

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