I'll never forget the day my goatee came
- I'll never forget the day my goatee came to life. You see, I'd found this top hot in a thrift store, and, on a whim, I'd stuck my goat in it and mumbled a quick prayer to Satan.
- But a mouthful of sugar daddies messed up my mumbled prayer and I accidentally prayed to Zoroastor and my goatee exploded into a gigantic
- pink beard made of cotton candy, and decorated with googly eyes. Some grayscale teenagers from mid previous century revved up and shined their headlights upon me, but I'm still
- thinking about the my mother gave me tickets to Glastonbury Festival. It rained and my tent sunk into the mud but I didn't mind because I met the Chemical Brothers in the queue for
- public lavatories. "Chemical Bros! You guyz are all techno and everything! Can I take your picture?" Moby tapped me on the back. "Can you move it? I gotta go." "Just wait." I said.
- But Moby couldn't wait. (He was Moby Dick, after all.) He pushed me and my camera into the Chemical Brothers and there was quite a reaction.
- The Chemical Brothers crystals fell and knocked over the fossils. Shards were flying everywhere! Moby Dick kept slamming into us. I frantically tried to save the last fossil and
- put it my mouth. It was a cockroach fossil & reanimated in my gullet, the great great great great ancestor of OMG Delaney. Great Grandpappy Delaney crawled into my ear & whispered
- "There is no such thing as a bad guitar, just bad players," Then he chuckled and gave a shrug of his insectoid shoulders, shook his head and walked away whistling a tune that was v
- ery melodious. He had finally found nirvana.
- Started
- 2012-09-21 19:13:22
- Finished
- 2015-01-04 00:13:17
2 Comments
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SlimWhitman Jan 04 2015 @ 06:32
Does Moby play guitar?
Chaz Jan 04 2015 @ 09:26
Moby does play guitar. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfQYK8P3fr0