My brother was returning from deployment

  • My brother was returning from deployment on mars and needed a ride. My wife had told me that I was kindly offering, no matter what I said. So here I was, standing in the lunar rain
  • bow, with a sour but complacent expression. When my estranged brother limped off the Milky Way Federation's Mars transport vessel I felt a surge of
  • adrenaline. He had made it, which meant that the entire shipment of poly-dichloric-euthynol had gotten through the scanners. The drones began unloading the Mars transport
  • and the conveyor grid routed the shipping containers to their docks. He watched for the orange ones to come along. It was a crime that poly-dichloric-euthynol
  • had to be packaged separately from his Thing 1 and Thing 2 crates - the shipping fees were atrocious. But the Things were a hoot to eat chemicals with; one time at sunday school
  • house rock commercial on transubstantiation (Vintage Christian PSA's), Thing 1 and Thing 2 ate a boat load of Amyl Nitrate which caused the backs of their necks to
  • spontaneously combust. Their sexual ambiguity and unhygienic annoying-ness was no more. The Cat in the Hat slapped some hos in the meantime, and my fish was now committing suicide
  • I couldn't quite see how Fluffy the goldfish was getting the rat poison into his bowl. The the out of body experience ended. It all came into sharp focus...IT WAS ME ALL ALONG!
  • And with this revelation, I swam around in circles for three full seconds, before I suddenly forgot everything and realized I was trapped in a fish bowl. Another three seconds
  • later I remembered that the best way to escape a fish bowl is to play dead and hope someone fishes you out. Unfortunately I now live in a sewer beneath Paris, but c'est la vie!


  1. BlastedHeath Sep 21 2012 @ 19:44

    Mars, I will never forget you again.

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!