An inside-out Uncle was not a pleasant sight
- An inside-out Uncle was not a pleasant sight to behold, he thought, as he beheld the steaming viscera beneath the monacle and toupée that was all that was left of Baron Furvile. If
- that fool was going to eat the "atomic" hot wings, then he'd have live with his exploded, steaming insides just hanging out. Sparky didn't mind, he was sweetly licking my uncle's
- Pickled herring and lamenting bare trees. The hot wings were so intensely flavourful, it could be smelled ten miles away. Area 51 residents began sneezing and their snot blew away
- whole desert ecosystems with each sneeze. Area 51 was no longer in their control. Hot wings had been the delivery vector and the Bringer of Death hot sauce was the trigger. There w
- As giant lumps of spicy green snot littering the desert everywhere. The dry heat rapidly solidified the spicy snot lumps in a spicy snot rock that almost appeared like it was
- an emerald. A spicy snot emerald. The snot rock's multifaceted sides shone brightly under the light of the sun. So bright in fact, it attracted the attention of archaeologists.
- "Would you look at that," said Dr. Ernestine Del Aciccio, the acting head of the Archaeology and Egyptology department at Harvard. She gingerly stepped closer to the snot rock.
- (Her white stilettos made her look like Ginger from Gilligan's Island.) "These cuneiform indicate that the Pharaohs blew their noses on this very rock before they died," Ernestine
- sighed, as she slowly raised her index finger to trace the cuneiform carvings, "I intend to come back here and do the same thing before I die." Ernestine closed her eyes in divine
- rapture. Minutes later she opened her eyes. She was puzzled; she no longer saw cuneiform carvings. It had all been a hallucination. Before her eyes was graffiti, full of F-bombs.
- 2013-07-15 05:34:29
- 2020-05-28 20:20:45
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LordVacuity May 28 2020 @ 22:03
They should have sent the woman from Yale.
TarotGuy May 28 2020 @ 22:39
I would also have sent the woman from Yale, but only because "Yale" takes up fewer characters than "Harvard" does and would have given me slightly more creative leeway in the 180-characters-per-fold universe we write in here. As it turns out, Dr. Ernestine's Harvard affiliation was long forgotten before I got to write that final fold, so it's all moot! Whatever, this story is an enjoyable romp!
LordVacuity May 28 2020 @ 23:14
Strange how few UT, MIT, USC, or Lancaster Preparatory School for the Olfactory Challenged, stories we have.
TarotGuy May 28 2020 @ 23:30
My daughter's alma mater is the University of Pennsylvania, another Ivy. No stories about that either (yes, I checked). Too many characters (in the school name, that is)!
LordVacuity May 28 2020 @ 23:36
Don't be so sure of that. The search function on here rarely works.