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The ocean breeze was soothing you as you

  • The ocean breeze was soothing you as you lifted another sack of fish into the boat. The elders were continuously warning you. Deadly storms were out there. "Ha! Just a hoax."
  • You turned around to find that pillock Josh pointing at the sack. You opened it to find it full of whoopie cushions & plastic turds which spilled out onto the boat's deck. You grou
  • chily snatch up the plastic turds & woopie cushions. "You've ruined Poop Deck Pappy's birthday surprise!" But the best turd (the one with bottleflies) slips from your hands
  • And lands in the same bag as the rotted potatoes! The perfect place and you take the trash out. So ends the 85th birthday party on January 2, 2017.
  • Anyway, that's enough about that. Now something else I should probably tell yoy before we go any further is that
  • there is a peat-bog filled with piranhas about half a mile ahead. Don't ask me how they got there. Anyway, if you wear these you most likely won't lose your ankles." Our guide
  • handed us each a pair of steel jointed hip waders. As we stepped into the peat-bog we could hear the piranhas clanging into us from every angle. I started to freak out, but soon I
  • learned to relax and love the bombardment of frenzied fish. It was clear that the piranhas were hangry. I took pity on them and dropped my sack lunch into the murky bog water.
  • The piranhas snatched it up with vim and vigor and then leapt from the bog towards me. I jumped back in time to see them miss and get Mrs. Philpot instead. The police saw the whole
  • enchilada, resplendent upon her plate, covered in lettuce, tomatos, sour cream, and quacamole. One beat cop said it was like her glistening moist tortilla was beckoning him home.

3 Comments

  1. Woab Jan 05 2017 @ 15:39

    So, did the piranhas get a sack full of rotted potatoes and a plastic turd? No wonder they ate Mrs. Philpot .

  2. Rebbie Jan 05 2017 @ 16:25

    REVENGE!

  3. TheGenerainR Feb 19 2017 @ 14:37

    Thanks, everyone, for this story. I didn't realize it would finish so fast.

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