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In a faraway land, it is believed that a

  • In a faraway land, it is believed that a man who takes a thousand lives becomes a terrifying demon, cursed to wander the earth for all eternity. The swordsman who wandered into the
  • desert ordered a club soda. The other cowboys laughed at his ways until they noticed the spiked tail underneath his duster and the black katanas strapped to his back.
  • But then again, the bar keep was no slouch either. He was Master Shredder, but had a fancy mustache across his face guard. In the saloon he one with the Katanas under his duster
  • which got the furniture badly cut up when it was time to clean the joint. Still, Bebop and Rocksteady were pretty good bouncers because they worked cheap and really hated chavs.
  • My job at the club was to paint on Bebop and Rocksteady's bouncer suits. Bebop would giggle when I painted his tie and then nut me affectionately. The accumulated concussion led to
  • me taking their bouncer suits for a spin in town. Both of 'em, one inside the other. How I bounced! There are many ways to get a concussion and I knew them all. I was a hit.
  • Literally. That's what they called me--The Hit. I soon got sponsored and Bouncy Suits became increasingly popular. Soon, everybody had them and were causing millions in property
  • damages. But I didn't give a shit. Not my property - not my problem. "Take a memo," I told my secretary. "Dude the Evolution is suavest fucking CEO on Long Island, end memo." She
  • jotted down the words quickly and efficiently, just the same way as she gave handys. I remembered a piece of advice I'd picked up, "Date a handy, marry a blowy", Brian Quinn had
  • said it during one of his drunken benders. I'd never thought of writing as a handjob before & realized the effort made it more gratifying, longlasting & the endings worth the wait.

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