26

I stood on the edge of the building and closed

  • I stood on the edge of the building and closed my eyes, leaning into the buffeting winds. Close to falling, but not quite. If I opened my eyes, it was all over, I'd lose my balance
  • . Even using a bullhorn, the police negotiator could barely be heard: "Sir, for not jumping I am authorized to offer you- A. a 2-for-the-price-of-1 vacation, B. a year's supply of
  • N95 filtration masks, C. your choice of three magazines ..." The police negotiator was interrupted by a burst of gunfire as a few jackasses shouting "Jump!" were exterminated. "And
  • D., You want Burger King to name a hamburger after you. Those are your demands," the police negotiator asked the man. Behind him he could hear the uniforms already gearing up for a
  • skirmish in the tight halls of the residential building. "You don't know my true power..." the man said in an oddly foreboding voice. As the police fighter ninjas flew into the bui
  • “According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground."
  • "Fat lot you know," answered the bee rather severely, and promptly stung the expert on his muffin top area. "Humans think they know everything," the bee ranted on as it died, "but
  • you long-pigs know NOTHING of the forthcoming bee invazzzion. HAHAHAbzzzHA!" At those last words, the bee died. The expert stared for what seemed like an eternity at its corpse
  • before picking up the pooper scooper and scooping up the bee's body. "Rest in peace, you little maniac," the expert said, flicking it into the garden bed.
  • Remember earlier when I told you about that zombie looked like it was peeing? Guess where the expert threw the bee's body? I've got a feeling its gonna be harder to stop next time.
Started
2020-02-22 16:52:17
Finished
2020-10-03 13:05:26

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Woab Oct 09 2020 @ 13:11

    Ped Xing's last line is brilliantly absurd.
  2. Avatar

    Ped_Xing Oct 09 2020 @ 16:46

    Made perfect sense to my pet rock.

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