I have been studying sperm whales for 11

  • I have been studying sperm whales for 11 years so far, and I plan on continuing this career.
  • It has been extremely fascinating and has led to many discoveries worth noting. Among one of them,
  • the fact that we know that lava is edible. Long rumoured by fringe volcano fanatics, recent advancements in science have ushered in a new dawn of extreme cooking.
  • In order to eat the lava safely, it needed to be cooled to slightly safer temperatures so consumers wouldn't melt their faces off.
  • But some customers became belligerent at the lava temperature regulations from the FDA. "I want my eyebrows to sizzle." One patron yelled angrily, throwing hot lava against the wal
  • mart employees. Poor souls. All they could do was scream as their bodies melted and morphed into one mega-awesome-super-cool monster, like in the movies. It ravaged the store and
  • bought a lot of useless junk just because it was on the bargain shelf. It did not realize what a monster it had become, even when everyone ran as it approached the cashier lines.
  • The cashier recognised the kombucha lady, knowing she was buying her usual cases of kombucha having them packed into double paper bags and then took a cab home. Today she needed
  • More time with Morley In The Morning, her church's shock jock Sunday morning bible study teacher. He was rife with Holy Spirit and gave a mean heated argument over poached eggs tha
  • T was to die for. He, like we, had imprinted on God but it was also his father, son, murderer, confessor, local municipal employee. He looked at your Jesus Sense to guide you.


  1. Digit Apr 02 2017 @ 00:34

    What a roller coaster

  2. LordVacuity Apr 02 2017 @ 00:50

    Where can I get one of the nifty Jesus Senses to guide... a friend.

  3. LordVacuity Apr 02 2017 @ 00:53

    Doh! I just realized I already knew the answer. It had been misfiled as a duck. You needed to get bitten by a radioactive Jesus.

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