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"Father, I have smashed pumpkins that were

  • "Father, I have smashed pumpkins that were not mine to smash."
  • I could hear him shift inside his compartment, the heavy breathing betraying his 3 pack a day smoking habit. "Do you repent, my son?" Father Drubbin wheezed. Did I? I wasn't sure.
  • I told him as much and he sat back in alarm, like I was a plague victim who'd coughed in his direction. "M-my son..." Father Drubbin gasped. "Surely you wish to be free of sin?"
  • “On the contrary Padre, the magnitude of the Lord’s sacrifice to save me requires me to try to sin in equal share, otherwise the Lord’s sacrifice was for naught”, I told Father Dru
  • And then I said the famous words, albeit with a little twist, "Forgive me Father, for I must now sin." He looked rather worried. But what to do, what to do? So many
  • sins to choose from, and so little time. He glanced down at a demon who held open a Whitman's Sampler-style candy box of atrocities, with no guide on the inside lid. "What's this
  • one?" he asked, pointing at a circle. "Oh, why, that looks to be a..." the demon server consulted the box diagram again. " - a lemon fluff, your liege." That was clearly not going
  • in Satan's mouth, the man has standards. "Don't we have anything more, I don't know, heavy metal? Like blood or something?" The waiter mulled this over for a bit "the closest thing
  • to blood I have in zis country eez m'amigo and fellow waiter, Manuel." "Fine, I'll have that." said Satan. The waiter told the cook to prepare a huge pot of boiling water. But how
  • Would he like his "lobster" cooked? "Very rare, and very plentiful." Satan gurgled as he chuckled. In came the line of human lobsters, about to take their "swimming lesson."

1 Comments

  1. IceSquad Jul 16 2019 @ 14:34

    The opening folds here read like a chess match between masters.

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